Decode the secret language of feeling depressed, stressed and anxious

Figure credit: The Secret Language of Feelings A Rational Approach to Emotional Mastery by Calvin Banyan

Figure credit: The Secret Language of Feelings A Rational Approach to Emotional Mastery by Calvin Banyan

Learn what “feeling” depressed, stressed and anxious means to you and go from there.

*IMPORTANT: these are “feelings”, not referring to any clinical terms of diagnosis, and are different from situations that have reached the clinical level and need proper medical care.*

You “feel bad” because you struggle to cope with “feeling” depressed, stressed or anxious. When meds or therapies don’t reduce the symptoms you then “feel worse”.

You desire way beyond just getting rid of the symptoms. You want to stop coping with emotions and really satisfy them, instantly reduce feeling stressed, depressed and anxious, find out what you really want in life, and take back CONTROL of how you FEEL and what you DO.

Here’s secret: inside of you there’s knowledge and understanding, but you have learned to ignore it or deny it, so you feel bad for “feeling bad”.


All the emotions are good if the cause of the feeling is coming from precise perceptions about yourself and others.  Never ignore or deny the way you feel. It is the ACTION of attempting to cope with the feelings without understanding the meaning of them that causes more pain, frustration or too-much behavior.

Feeling depressed = unmet needs or unresolved emotions still not wrapping up with the coping mechanism (or distractor), which leads to frustration of things not working, and then eventually feeling the heaviness. This is a CALL TO ACTION to implant hope and need to get started again.

Feeling anxious = feeling insecure, worrying about something, meaning fear of something bad might happen. Ask yourself: what might happen next? Then what might really happen?

Feeling stressed = feeling overwhelmed by having too much to handle and handling everything well.

Learn how to listen to your emotions and what they are trying to tell you to do. Pain = message; feeling depressed, stressed and anxious = response, coping mechanism = driving force. For example, the too-much behavior as a DISTRACTOR does not really address the response to the message.

There is a healthy way to respond to feelings and emotions!  So stop coping and start responding in a satisfying and healthy way.

Take a progressive process that allows you to start taking back control of what you do: first identify the true feeling, second understand the root cause, and third find a healthy way to respond to the feelings and meet the needs.