To have the courage and success to let go of the pain from the outside, first forgive the negative feelings from the INSIDE.
You want to become a different person, start a new chapter of life, and let go of all the painful past events or people that have been hurting you.
So you begin a new social circle, maybe a new job, a new place or even a new town, hoping all the hurtful feelings would just go away if you can “forget about all”.
Wait...by putting away the past without resolving it, you Forget-Everything-And-Run, forming and reinforcing this F-E-A-R and the need for escaping to keep growing inside you.
Fear to face the problem, fear to understand why things didn’t work out, fear to embrace the injured self and tears, and fear to flourish from the wounds.
That’s right: you put a bandage on the wound, believing if you could just cover and forget about it, then you would feel better. But hey, if you didn’t treat the wound first, how would you expect the healing to progress nicely?
You gotta clean up the wound first. The phase of cleaning, is the process to get rid of all the unnecessary negativity inside, so you can allow enough space to bring in the refreshed, renewed, and recharged positive feelings and emotions, towards your optimal happiness.
This renwal is forgiveness: forgiving all the anger, hatred, frustration, unfairness, inadequacy, sadness, wrongness, guilt, sorry, or blame you have towards yourself and others who hurt you and brought you pain.
You don’t need to change how you like/dislike about things. Forgiveness does not release people from consequences of their actions. But by forgiving those feelings and stored emotions, you free yourself---you are no longer bounded or bothered by them in the old way.
This means they can no longer pull you back. You’ll resume the power, strength, and control back in life. Even if others or the external environment has not changed, your own internal change takes your much further because you’ll know how to:
Face-Everything-And-Rise. This new F-E-A-R gives you the freedom and opportunity to re-mind, re-frame, and re-vision yourself. This internal change is much more powerful and permanent, because you do not depend on others’ change to feel happy.
Remember: you don’t have to forget in order to forgive, because forgiveness is for yourself.